Compassion helps decrease persistent pain
Decrease persistent pain with a compassion practice.
Compassion helps decrease persistent pain. Compassion can be thought of as the feeling that arises when you are confronted with suffering and feel motivated to relieve that suffering. There is a sense of kindness. Research has shown that when we feel compassion, our heart rate slows down, we secrete the “bonding hormone” oxytocin, and regions of the brain linked to empathy, care-giving, and feelings of pleasure light up. If we consider the bio-psycho-social model of pain, compassion in itself can decrease the intensity of the the feelings of persistent pain.
When we are considering making big changes to address any physical or emotional causes of persistent pain and are working on changing our relationship with our belief and attitude about discomfort, compassion can make all the difference.
Compassion meditation
Having a formal compassion practice helps you deal with your persistent pain in a more supportive, healing way. A compassion practice also helps create more of a feeling of connection with others.
Compassion helps decrease persistent pain by making a positive shift in the social piece of the bio-psycho-social puzzle of persistent pain.Here is a Compassion practice that was adapted from a script by C.C.A.R.E. Before you begin this practice, settle into a comfortable position.
This practice of embracing common humanity is a compassion practice that can help decrease persistent pain
This practice helps cultivate empathy, equanimity, and connection with others. Take a few deep breaths. Inhale through the nose and exhale through the mouth. Release the breath fully. Take a few more deep breaths just like this.Now inhale and exhale through your nose only. Let your breath settle into its own natural rhythm.
Feel the softness in your forehead. Soften the area between your eyes, let your jaw open slightly, relax your whole face. Feel the relaxation and release of your neck, shoulders, and belly. Let the body and mind settle into this peaceful experience of breathing in and breathing out. If you notice your mind wandering gently bring it back to the breath. Breathe in, breathe out.
Compassionate Image
Create in your mind a compassionate image that represents the qualities of wisdom, strength, acceptance, love, nurturance, or caring. It could be the image of a wise person you deeply respect, a religious figure, or a symbol that represents compassion. It can be an image from nature such as an expansive and deep blue ocean or a firmly rooted tree with magnificent thick foliage, or the sun that shines its light and warmth on all beings without discrimination.
Imagine yourself in the presence of this source of compassion. Imagine yourself the recipient of its great compassion.
Feel that in the presence of this compassionate image you can be completely yourself. There is no judgement, only total acceptance.
Allow yourself to rest in the feeling of unconditional compassion and acceptance. Imagine that as you stay in the presence of this compassionate image it awakens in you your own source of strength, wisdom, and compassion.
Compassion for loved one
Picture a person you care about such as a family member or friend. Try to vividly feel their presence in front of you. Notice how you feel when you think of this person.
Consider the fact that just like you this person has had ups and downs in their life. Just like you this person has goals and dreams. Like you this person knows what pain, anger, sadness, and fear feel like.
Just like you this person wants to love and be loved, to contribute and to be appreciated.
With this in mind, repeat silently: Just like me, this person wishes to be happy and free from suffering. See if you can feel the fundamental truth of this statement: just like me this person wishes to be happy and free from suffering.
Compassion for stranger
Bring to mind someone you recognize but have no special sense of either closeness or conflict. It could be a person you see at the grocery store or coffee shop. perhaps a neighbor you see frequently but don’t know. Notice how you feel when you think of this person.
Consider the fact that, just like you, this person has had ups and downs in their life. Just like you this person has goals and dreams. Just like you, this person is an object of deep concern to someone. They are a child to someone, a parent possibly, or maybe a spouse, or a dear friend to someone.
Like you this person knows what pain, anger, sadness, and fear feel like. Just like you this person wants to love and be loved, to contribute and to be appreciated.
With this in mind, repeat silently: just like me, this person wishes to be happy and free from suffering. See if you can feel the fundamental truth of this statement. Just like me this person wishes to be happy and free from suffering.
Compassion for a difficult person
Bring to mind a person you have some difficulty or discomfort with. Maybe it is someone you don’t get along with or feel in competition with, or maybe someone you think has caused you harm, or maybe it is someone that doesn’t share your personal beliefs or values. Notice how you feel when you think about this person.
Consider the fact that just like you this person has had ups and downs in their life. Just like you this person has goals and dreams. Just like you, this person is an object of deep concern to someone.
They are a child to someone, possibly a parent, or maybe a spouse, or a dear friend to someone. Like you this person knows what pain, anger, sadness, and fear feel like. Just like you this person wants to love and be loved, to contribute and to be appreciated.
With this in mind, repeat silently: Just like me, this person wishes to be happy and free from suffering. Notice how it feels when you say this: Just like me this person wishes to be happy and free from suffering. See if you can feel the fundamental truth in this statement: Just like me this person wishes to be happy and free from suffering.
Common Humanity
Finally picture all three of these people together in front of you: a loved one, a stranger, and someone you have difficulty with. Remember they all share a basic yearning to be happy and free from suffering.
On this level there is no difference at all between these three people. In this fundamental respect they are all exactly the same. This shared aspiration for happiness and freedom from suffering is a common bond that unites us all with all other beings. Let your mind rest in this awareness for a while.
Now silently repeat this phrase: Just as I do, all others aspire towards happiness.
Compassionate connection
Self-compassion – a form of Compassion that helps decrease persistent pain
Self-compassion is the practice of turning compassion inward, being with your own pain and suffering. Often, it is harder to be kind and nurturing to ourselves than it is to be compassionate to a loved one or even a stranger.
For anyone dealing with persistent pain, the formal and informal practices of self-compassion are an important addition to any recovery plan. Kristen Neff defines self-compassion as having these three main elements: self-kindness, mindfulness, and common humanity.
During physically or emotionally painful times, you may consider repeating a form of the following statements to yourself
- “This moment is painful” or “This moment sucks” or what ever phrase sounds real to you.
- “Painful moments are a part of life” or “Sucky moments are a part of life” or whatever phrase you like.
- “May I be kind to myself during this painful time” or “May I be kind to myself during this time of suckiness” or whatever phrase rings true to you.
Other Resources for Compassion training
For information on self-compassion check out Kristen Neff’s website
